When To Believe A Person Has Changed
Posted on May 9, 2007 - Filed Under Dating Tips, Preventing Breakups, Relationship Tips, Staying Together
“When To Believe A Person Has Changed”
A while ago we talked about how you cannot change
a person such as a cheater.
So let’s say a person has been working on himself
or herself because he or she is very serious about changing.
How do we know if the person has changed?
I would follow the following rule:
Seeing is believing.
Talk is cheap. Judge the person by looking at
his or her life. See if he or she has been 100% committed
to changing. See what kind of results he or she has
achieved so far.
Don’t believe a person has changed just because
the person appears to be working on the problem. Only
believe in *actual* results. (Don’t forget that people
quit midway all the time!)
And if the person ever falls back, then the trust has
been broken and it is time to move on. (Example: A cheater
cheating again after a few months of not cheating or a junkie
doing drugs again after a few years of being clean.)
Don’t be too soft. You’ve given the person a chance and
they’ve screwed up again. It’s their fault, not yours.
Yes, I know this may sound harsh. But when you’re
dealing with character problems and your personal boundaries,
such harshness is necessary or you will be walked all over -
guaranteed. If you do not respect your own boundaries,
neither will other people…
Never forget that!
For more dating and relationship articles, check
out my free dating newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
- Marius Panzarella
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