What Breaking Up And Getting Back Together Really Means
“What Breaking Up And Getting Back Together Really Means”
A lot of people think that it must be “true love”
when a man and woman keep on getting back together after
breaking up. They think it means the couple love each
other so much that they can’t stay away from each other
for too long. All the break-ups and complications just mean
they are the modern equivalents of Romeo and Juliet.
As a dating coach who has seen lots of cases over
the years, I’m afraid I do not agree with this rosy view.
I actually think that if a couple keeps on breaking up
and getting back together, it’s a sign that maybe the
couple should NOT be together after all.
Think about it. If you really belonged together,
then you shouldn’t have broken up so many times in
the first place. Instead of breaking up and getting
back together so many times, you should have been happily
married by now. The fact that you have never been able
to STAY together for long is a sign that your relationship
has too much drama involved.
If you have trouble staying together, it means
one of two things. You guys either do not have the
skill to stay in a relationship together, or you guys
simply do not have the right personalities to stay
together without clashing.
If you belong in the first category, then you
should make a commitment to start working on the
relationship together. Make it clear that the next break-up
will be permanent. Go see a relationship or marriage
counsellor if you have to. Do everything you can to
work on the relationship. This is your last chance.
If you belong in the second category, then you
should really look for another partner. Character is hard
to change and if your personality clashes too much with your
partner’s, it’s a sign you need to find someone who is
more compatible with you no matter how high the attraction
is. (As I say all the time, just because you are attracted
to a person doesn’t mean you should be with them, just
like drugs may make you feel good, but it doesn’t mean
you should do drugs.)
Here’s a little meditation for you to do. Let’s
say you have been on and off with your partner for eight
years. Assuming you live to 80, that’s about 10 percent
of your life gone. What could you done with that time
had you found another partner who is MORE COMPATIBLE
with you? Would you have been happily married by now?
Would you have had more time to spend on other areas of
your life? Would you have been a more productive person
if you didn’t have to spend so much time and energy
on a CRAZY relationship that is *still* going nowhere
today?
Think about that for a minute.
Now…think about your future…
Are you ready to spend ANOTHER eight years of
your life on a relationship that has gone nowhere in the
past eight years, especially when you may not even stay
together in the end because your personalities clash
too much? Don’t forget that permanent baggage is added
to a relationship every time you break up and get back
together. So your chances of staying happily ever after
will DECREASE each time you get back together.
Think about this really hard, as it *will* affect
your life!
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at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
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We have been on and off with my ex-gf for many times and we havent even been together a year. It sucks how much I am attracted to her but at the same time I wish to be with someone else who is more compatible with me. I am not sure if the problem is really me from the start or is it really her. I think I really do love her but at the same time the problem is it is also true that my inability to get someone better than her is making me stick to her (and she was my first official gf). We had a very complicated love story. I was a “nice guy” turned “bad boy” after the 1st time she broke up with me in 2010. The best thing about that experience is it made me apply your practical teaching in my own life (even in areas out of dating).
Being honest with myself, I am just desperate, I guess. I grew up a “loser” suffering from low self-esteem. Your work was the catalyst that made me pick up a positive self-concept and a winning attitude. I have been more socially competent and confident ever since. I have been introduced to your works in late 2007 but never really dedicated myself in applying them until late 2010. How I wish I would have done so earlier.
I am proud to say that although I have crashed and burn many times (like you insist to us readers we should), I have overcome many “obstacles” through the things I learned from you through applying your teachings.
I have been and will continue to work on myself on becoming a better man and a better person entirely. Maybe you will never get to read this post but I want to let you know that you have been a great influence in my life Mr. Marius Panzarella. As a person who was “shy” and suffered a lot from low self-esteem, I can say your work has been nothing but life changing. You are doing a noble work that helps countless men all over the world. God bless you always Mr.P (that’s the name I use to quote you on my facebook.hehe). May you always continue to be a blessing to all those men out there who need help with, not only women, but life in general.
Miguelito,
from the Philippines
Thanks, Miguelito!