The Biggest Irony In Dating And Relationships
Posted on March 15, 2008 - Filed Under Being A Challenge, Dating Tips, Inner Game
“The Biggest Irony In Dating And Relationships”
As a dating and relationship coach, I see
the biggest irony in dating and relationships every
day: People often make mistakes *because* they
are trying to make things better…
You see…
Most guys and women who write me for
relationship advice are afraid that if they do
not go after their partners or crushes constantly,
something bad will happen. Some even think that
if they maintain any sort of emotional distance,
their crushes or mates will think they are not
interested and give up. So they chase and chase
or push and push until they push their crushes
or loved ones away.
In my opinion, this is the biggest irony
of all: When it comes to dating and relationships,
people often make things worse because they are
trying to make things better. They are constantly
thinking things such as:
“What if she forgets me if I don’t call
her back right away?”
“But I want her to be happy, and I know
she will be happy if I call her again!!!”
“If I don’t ask her out again now,
another guy might beat me to it.”
“If I don’t show her how much I still
love her, she will start seeing that other guy.”
“If I don’t go to the prom with her,
she may find another date, and then I won’t
have another chance…”
And as a result, they do things such as:
- Coming on too strong.
- Acting too needy.
- Being pushy.
- Being annoying instead of persistent.
- Spending money on gifts and flowers.
(Which can kill attraction in some cases.)
- “Confessing” their love. (Bad idea!)
If you’re a student of my “Smart Dating
System”, you should know that these actions
will quickly push a woman (or man) away.
As I always say, just because something
feels good to you doesn’t mean it will raise
a woman’s attraction towards you!
So…how can you overcome your natural
tendency to focus on what feels good to you rather
than what’s actually good for your courtship or
relationship?
The answer is simple: By having self-control
and discipline. In any field of study, self-control
is discipline is what allows a person to stick to
the “correct” and beneficial actions, which
usually don’t feel good in the short run. Dating
is no different. There are times when you must
pull back or not make that phone call, even when
you want to. And to get that self-control, you
should try to focus on the long term and think
and the “big picture” and broad concepts that
I’ve taught you in my newsletter and ebooks.
With a bit of practice, you too will
have that self-control!
For more dating tips, sign up for my
dating newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
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