My View on Pick Up Artists
Posted on September 11, 2008 - Filed Under Dating Tips, Hooking Up, Inner Game, Social Life
“My View on Pick Up Artists”
A question that I get all the time is, “Marius,
what do you think of the pickup community? How come
you don’t seem to be a part of it?”
While I don’t have anything against players
in general (in fact, I wrote a post on what you can
learn from players just a few days ago), I do have
some beef against the “seduction community” in general.
Maybe it is because I am anti-establishment. Maybe it is
because I focus too much on the bad apples. Or maybe
I just find it sad that so many highly intelligent people
would spend all their time sleeping around instead of
saving the world.
Anyway…if you are considering joining the pickup
community, here are some questions I would like you to ask
yourself:
1) Ask yourself if the guys in the community can
actually be in a long-term relationship. Then ask
yourself why not.
2) Ask yourself why they often date women
with drama. (There’s a reason for it.)
3) Ask yourself if it is healthy to use picking up
women as a way to mend an insecure mind.
4) Ask yourself what a pickup artist will get out
of the community 20 years from now.
5) Ask yourself if it is healthy to spend time with
different women every night, when you could say, be
hanging out with friends who will be there for you
in the long run.
6) Ask yourself if the “quality women” they refer
to are actually “quality women” in terms of character.
Any one can put in a lot of mental filters and filter
out women who do not “qualify”. But what happens
quite often is that many PUA’s end up filtering
the “good girls” that don’t respond to their lines,
and start flings with the girls that do. These girls
often have problems. (The PUA won’t see it that way,
of course. They will say these girls are “adventurous”
and “have a good imagination.)
7) Ask yourself if the instructors ever abuse their
techniques on their own students. (To sell more products,
etc)
8) Ask yourself if there is a *reason* to get heavily
involved. Sure, if you’re not good with women, learn a
few things, get that part of your life handled, and
move on. If you spend a few years in the community,
it shows you have a problem. (Once again, the hole
i talk about.) It’s like people who pay money year
after year for the same self-help seminars. It becomes
an addiction and the dosage needs to be increased
each time.
9) Ask yourself what happens when you put a group of
people who manipulate other people together.
10) Ask yourself what you will actually get out of
all of this.
11) Ask yourself if the community is detached from
reality. Just like they could be limiting themselves
with their mental filters, all their “frames” could
be limiting them to a “selective world” too. (As in
they choose what to perceive.) This is okay as a tool
to gain success and confidence. But you should not be
afraid to leave something behind once it has served
its purpose. If you know the basics, then I’d say
“enough is enough.”
For example, in a certain reality, a guy
who dresses up in a feather hat and wears sunglasses
in the dark could be considered a prize and get
lots of attention from a certain group of women.
(He won’t care about the rest because he will filter
them out.) But a “normal” person may think the PUA
is a bit of a freak. Of course, then the PUA will
just call on one of his frames and think, “People
envy me because I am the life of the party.”
This kind of thinking *is* useful for some
self-help applications. (Such as reframing a person
with a funny nose into thinking that it’s okay.)
But there’s a point when you take it too far (such
as the above scenario) and become detached from
reality.
Yes, it’s true that “reality” is different
inside a nightclub and you can definitely play that
to your advantage. But just like I am against people
spending too much time on multi-player RPG’s, I am
also against people wasting their lives away inside
a nightclub.
If you are curious about meeting women and
want to be a real party animal for a few years, go
ahead. By all means, just go out and live life! But
if you do it more than a few years (as many members
of the pickup community have), then seriously,
get a life.
I’ll probably get flamed for making this
post…but ah well…
For more dating tips, check out
my dating tips newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
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