How to Give At Ultimatum Without Really Giving An Ultimatum
Posted on July 6, 2007 - Filed Under Breaking Up, Character, Dating Tips, Preventing Breakups, Relationship Tips, Romantic Respect, Staying Together
“How to Give At Ultimatum Without Really Giving An Ultimatum”
Last time I showed you why as a Smart Dater you
should not have to offer an ultimatum in order to save
a relationship. But let’s say you haven’t been my reader
for long and did not know enough about relationships to
“contain the damage” before you finally found me, here’s
an alternative to seeking an ultimatum. This tactic will
let you give something similar to an ultimatum that will
not make you lose your power.
1) Talk to your partner and express your feelings
on the issue. Tell him or her how the issue is affecting
you. Don’t force the person to change. Just express your
point of view, let your partner you’ve hurting, and then
leave the scene.
2) Sit back and observe. If the person changes,
good. Otherwise…
3) As soon as you catch your partner whatever> again, break up. Don’t hesitate. Just break
up and leave.4) If your now ex-partner feels bad, good.
Give it some time for them to freak out and to chase
you back.
5) If they do not care at all, then they do
not deserve you anyway. (In this case, giving them
an ultimatum would not have helped anyway because they
would have just ignored it.)
Unlike a verbal ultimatum, this tactic will
not make you as the “obstacle” standing between
your partner and what your partner really like.
What’s more important, you’re NOT forcing them to
make a change. (As I always say, external motivation
never lasts for long.) Rather, you’re asserting your own
power by refusing to deal with their bullshit. This
way, should they change, they are not doing it because
you forced them to. They are doing it because *they*
want to.
It makes a huge difference!
For more dating and relationship articles,
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http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
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