How To Fend Off A Crazy Ex
Posted on June 26, 2007 - Filed Under Breaking Up, Dating Tips, Relationship Tips
“How To Fend Off A Crazy Ex”
Did you start dating a psycho who is now
obsessed about you and won’t leave you alone? Here
are a few tips on how to get rid of a psycho ex.
1) Have a cold heart
Once you have decided that a relationship
is not working for you because your ex is crazy
or even dangerous, you have to have a cold heart
and just break up. You can’t expect to “be nice”
because it will only give your ex false hope.
Don’t be concerned if your ex feels
sad, angry, upset, bitter, jealous, or any other
kind of emotion. You have made a decision to
move on. Stick with it!
2) Cut all contact
To have a clean cut and not give your ex
any false hope, you need to cut all contact.
Return ALL of your ex’s belongings as soon as
possible. Do NOT call or send any emails. Do NOT
answer any calls from your ex. Make it clear that
you want to move on.
3) Make it clear that you have moved on
If your ex ever finds a way to reach you,
make it clear that you have moved on with your life.
Speak enthusiastically about how you are with your
life and hang up or leave the scene as quickly as
possible.
4) Do not respond to mind games
Crazy does not equal stupid. Some of
the obsessive ex’s I have helped my clients get rid
of were smart enough to use every mind game in the
world. The only way to defend yourself against
these tactics is to not respond to the person at all.
Here’s a good analogy I have learned from
a reader…
“If you try to hit a snake with a stick it will
just go up the stick and bite you!”
Don’t try to deal with a psycho ex. Avoid
contact in the first place.
5) Do not remain friends
Don’t try to remain friends with an
obsessive ex. It will only make things harder for
both of you.
6) Do not try to help the person to get over you
Don’t try to “help the person to get
over you.” It never works. In fact, it will
only make it harder for the person to move on.
7) Inform everybody
Try to tell all your friends and family
about the break up. If this has been an absusive
relationship, tell them about the abuse you have
suffered too. A client I have was never able to
break things off with his ex until he told his
friends that she had been hitting him. It’s
embarrassing to share this kind of information
with friends and family, but their support can
really help you pull out of a tight situation.
8) Sound a warning if stalking behaviour occurs
As soon as your ex starts stalking
you, threaten to contact the authorities. If
the unwanted behavior persists, then take
actiona dn contact the authorities. Get
a restraining order if you must.
9) Do not pity your ex or get upset
Do not have pity on your ex no matter
what you hear. Even if you hear from a third
party your ex is having trouble paying the bills,
etc, do not offer to help. You’ll only be
inviting drama back into your life.
10) Don’t date a pyshco in the first place
And most important of all, don’t date
a psycho in the first place. In most cases
that I’ve worked with, psychotic and obsessive
behaviour only increase over time. It is a lot
easier to cut off a person after the first date
than after the tenth of twentieth date. As soon
as you sense there is something wrong with a date,
don’t pursue the relationship - no matter how
hot the person is or how great the sex feels.
Lots of guys think they can deal with
a crazy woman as long as they are getting great
sex from her. WRONG. They are actually playing
with fire! Eventually, dating a crazy woman
WILL make your life VERY complicated.
I have seen it happen way too many
times…
For more honest and down to earth dating
and relationship advice, sign up for my free
dating newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius
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