How To Deal With Emotional Vampires
“How To Deal With Emotional Vampires”
Let’s cut to the chase. Today I am going to show
you how you can protect yourself drama queens, chronic
bitches, and other emotional vampires who want to drain
you of all your energy.
1) Distance Yourself If Possible
The first point I would like to emphasize is
that you shouldn’t be dealing with emotional vampires in
the first place. Unless you have a clear reason to interact
with them (such as for work or business – see point #2),
STAY AWAY.
Emotional vampires have a tendency to just keep on
pushing and pushing your boundaries until they break
you defenses. If you let them into your personal life,
one day they WILL break you down and drain your energy.
2) Know Why You Are Dealing With Them
If you have emotional vampires around you, really
ask yourself WHY you’re dealing with them. Look beyond
your “professional” or “business” reasons. In my experience,
95% of the time, a client who has let an emotional vampire
into his or her life do so due to attraction. “Work”
or “business” are just excuses.
Here’s the perfect test: Ask yourself if you
would still let the emotional vampire be in your life if
they were physically REPULSIVE. Be honest to yourself!
3) Focus On Their Actions, Not Words
If you must absolutely deal with an emotional vampire,
then focus on their ACTIONS, not their words. What emotional
vampires SAY is often VERY different than what they do.
Ignore everything they say and focus on their ACTIONS instead.
4) Do Pay Attention To Their History
A good way to “bust” emotional vampires is by looking
at their history.
If a woman has cheated on 5 different men, chances are,
SHE was the source of problems.
If a man has had cold feet before, you can almost guarantee
he will have cold feet again.
98% of people cannot change their character. Look at how
someone has acted in the past, and you can easily anticipate how they
will act in the future.
Yes, I know it sounds assholish and cynical, but it’s really
true in the real world!
5) Set Boundaries
Set boundaries and do NOT let them be compromised. You
CANNOT play gentle with an emotional vampire and win. As soon as
you give something to them, they will ask for more. They will keep
on barraging your defenses until they wear you down.
6) Don’t Feel Guilty
Emotional vampires will make you feel very guilty about
yourself if you do not give them what they want. Don’t let their
words get to you. When in doubt, refer to point #3 and #4. (Focus
on their actions instead of their words, and remember their
history!)
7) Seek Third Party Opinions
Try to seek third party opinions. Emotional vampires are
usually very good at using half-truths to convince you they are
right. To control you, they will try to isolate you from
other sources of information and make it look like it’s the two
of you against the world. (Example: You are the only one who
understands her. Everyone else is an asshole.)
Talk to your friends and family. Heck, send me an email
and I’ll yell till I get some sense into you.
8) See Life Beyond the Relationship
Know that it is okay to leave an emotional vampire
behind. People come, people go. It’s all part of life. Focus
on the big picture and don’t let the little people hold you
back.
9) Don’t Use Logic With Them
Don’t get into a “logical argument” with an emotional
vampire because logic only works when the other party is playing
fair. Emotional vampires don’t play fair. They will just attack
your argument from different angles and wait till you say ONE
wrong word. Then they will exaggerate that one word and use
that to nullify the whole argument.
Don’t try to justify your boundaries! Just set them!
10) Ignore Tantrums
When emotional vampires don’t get their way, they will
throw tantrums just to get a reaction from you.
Don’t give them that reaction. just imagine you are dealing
with a five-year old child and do not give in at all.
For more dating articles, check out my dating
newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
-Marius P.
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With 9 years of experience as a dating and relationship coach, Marius Panzarella has seen just about every dating scenario. His ebooks and reports have been read by over 100,000 people across the world.
Excellent – Points 5-10 are my wife…
Well, Perhaps ex wife soon might be a better way of putting it