Cannot vs Will Not In Dating
Posted on February 16, 2007 - Filed Under Dating Tips
“Cannot Vs Will Not In Dating”
Here’s something that I’ve learned over the years as a dating
coach:
Where it comes to self-change, there is no “I can’t”,
only “I won’t.”
For example, if you email me and say “I can’t flirt”, you
don’t actually mean you’re physically incapable of flirting, What
you REALLY mean is that you “won’t” or “don’t” want to flirt.
(By the way, “I don’t know how to flirt” is not a valid excuse
because if you were determined, you could learn and practice till
you do.)
And if you INSIST that you “can’t” flirt, then chances
are, there are some beliefs in your mind that are stopping you
from flirting. For example, you may believe that it is “wrong”
or even “immoral”. So once again, it is because you “won’t”,
not because you “can’t”.
For some common “flirt blocks”, check out my report
on flirting at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com/flirt.pdf
Read that report, and then do the following exercise
whenever you tell yourself that you “cannot” do something.
1) Think about what it is that you “can’t” do.
2) Rephrase it as “I won’t” in order to see how you
REALLY feel about the matter.
3) Think about what you “need” to do in order to
prepare yourself to do what you thought you couldn’t do.
4) Think about the potential rewards.
5) See if the rewards outweigh the “work” or pain
required.
6) Ask yourself if you still “won’t” do it. Think
long term.
You’ll quickly see how often your mind will come up
with different bullsh** excuses just so you can stay within
your comfort zone!
For more dating tips, check out my free “Smart Dating
Newsletter” at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
I’ll show you how to become a “I can do” person and win
at the dating game!
- Marius Panzarella
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