Are You Addicted To Relationship Drama?
Posted on May 29, 2007 - Filed Under Dating Tips
“Are You Addicted To Relationship Drama?”
Are you addicted to relationship drama?
While it is true that you need to try to keep things
exciting in a relationship, at the same time you want to
make sure you and your partner are not chasing after what
I call “emotional highs and lows.”
Here are a couple of questions for you:
1) Do you break up and get back together often?
2) Do you often “cry together?”
3) Do you fight all the time and then have wild
makeup sex?
4) Do you try to manipulate each other?
5) Do you both carry a lot of emotions in the
relationship?
6) Is there a lot of drama in your relationship?
If you have answered “yes” to any of these questions,
then I want you to think about the kind of long-term goals
that you have for your relationship. For example, do you
want to eventually settle down and raise a family?
Then think about if your partner DOES really
share the same goals and vision. Be honest. If the person
is not thinking about settling down right now, don’t think
that they will change. Remember: you are not counting for
the person to change. You’re looking for what’s available
right now. Also, never mind what the person has said or
promised. Remember the action compass from my “Smart
Dating Course”. It does not matter what a people say –
what they do. So if your partner keeps talking about
settling down and raising a family when they’re not working
on their own problem, they’re all talk and no action.
In other words, they don’t really fit into your picture.
Finally, if you don’t share the same goals for
a relationship, think about why you’re in the relationship
in the first place. Examine your feelings and see if you’re
getting any emotional payoffs. (Do you actually enjoy the
drama even though you say you hate it? Do you like the
attention? Do you think it’s what being in love is about?)
If you are, then decide which is more important to
you – your goals or your emotional payoffs.
If you enjoy the thrills of your relationship and
that’s all you ever want in life, keep enjoying it. I have
nothing against it.
Have fun. Maybe you’ll even end up as a guest on
The Jerry Springer Show one day.
But if you goals that aren’t really congruent with
the emotional payoffs you’re getting right now, then I suggest
you do some thinking because you’ve got a decision to make.
At the end of the day, you have to decide which is
more important to you – satisfying your emotional thrills,
or building a future.
For more dating and relationship advice, sign
up for my free dating newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
- Marius Panzarella
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