The Importance of Shifting Your Priorities In Dating and in Life (Part Two)
“The Importance of Shifting Your Priorities In Dating and in Life (Part Two)”
Last time I talked about the importance of shifting your
priorities in dating and in life because if you go after the
wrong priorities at the wrong stage of life it is going to
hurt your chances with women as well as your future.
As an example, I mentioned how it does not make sense
to just focus on your physique once you are over 35. I mentioned
that most 35 year old men are not going to look as good as 25 year
olds, and that gym-rats who spend too much time inside the gym
are probably going to be not as well off as other men financially
because they have not been focusing on their careers as much. As
a conclusion, I mentioned that the younger guys would still be better
looking, while the guys their age would be better off financially and
more established career-wise.
For this comment, I received a lot of praise as well as
some criticism. A few angry men in their mid-30’s emailed
me to tell me to take them off my newsletter. Some claimed to look
better than “any 25 year old”. Some claimed 25 year olds and 35 year
olds don’t really that much different. One guy even mentioned
that guys with good bodybuilding genetics will look better than
a 25 year guy with bad genetics. (As if that changes the lesson
I was trying to share…)
To me, these guys were just nitpicking minor points. Do
ALL guys in their thirties look as good as they used to when they
were still in their early 20’s? Even if they do, does it really
matter? Is it really something to be obsessed about? The fact that
these got pissed off at someone saying men in their age group
GENERALLY do not look as good as younger men is a sign that they
have real self-image problems.
A true man should know that with age comes wisdom,
wealth, and power. Looking youthful is only icing on the cake.
As I always say, it’s all about your CUMULATIVE SCORE. It’s
not one thing, but a COMBINATION of things, that makes you
an attractive man. So if you want to focus solely on looks,
go ahead. You’ll eventually fall behind because time is
against you.=)
Here’s another one of my life principles: A man is
only as strong as his biggest weakness. If you are too obsessed
about looks, money, or any other one thing, that’s going to
cause you real problems in the long run. I see it all the time
as a dating coach. Here’s an extreme example: You can be rich,
good looking, and smart. Add a bad addiction that you are
unwilling to cure, and it may destroy all of your relationships.
Here’s an exercise you should do:
1) Think about what women care about in your age group. Write
down some action steps to improve yourself in these areas.
2) Think about what women in your age group will care more
and more about as they age. Write down some action steps for
these too.
3) Work on both.
4) Next, identify your greatest weakness in dating and
relationships. It could be something small and insignificant
such as not knowing how to close a kiss. Or it could be
something much deeper, such as always falling for crazy
psycho chicks because you like drama. (This can ruin you!)
5) Think about how to fix your weakness and write down some
action steps.
This exercise will give you a “blueprint” on how to bulletproof
your love life over time. Not only will it help you both in the short and
long run, it will also limit your weaknesses so that they don’t hold
you back. (One big flaw is all it takes to reduce your cumulative score
to zero!!!)
Now go have fun with the exercise!
For more dating tips, visit my dating tips newsletter
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Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
Body Language Mistakes Men Make With Women
“Body Language Mistakes Men Make With Women”
Here are seven common body languages men make with
women:
1) Not Taking Enough Room
One of the most common body language mistakes guys make
around women is not taking enough personal space. Masculine men
and alpha males take up more room than guys without much
confidence. Confident men don’t hide in the corner. They
make bold moves and invade other people’s personal space instead
of just keeping to themselves.
Try to walk tall, move slowly, and expand your personal
space. Instead of crossing your arms, spread them out. Instead
of keeping your legs crossed when you sit (like a woman…),
leave them open!
2) Slouching / Looking At The Ground
Slouching and looking at the ground almost always
come together. Both are signs of insecurity. If you are
always looking at the ground when you walk, you will look
like you are trying to avoid eye contact with people. Keep
your noble chin up when you walk!
3) Moving Too Quickly
Powerful men usually take slow but confident steps.
So don’t start flaming all over when you are with a woman
no matter how nervous or excited you are. Try to create an
aura of power around yourself but slowing down your movements.
4) Having Shifty Eyes
A sure sign of insecurity is having shify eyes. It
really makes it look like you are avoiding eye contact
for whatever reason.
Don’t be afraid of letting people catch you checking
them out. Just look back and smile!
5) Looking Too Serious
If you always have a serious look on your face, women
are not going to think you are a very fun person. Make sure
you don’t give the impression of being too stiff or serious!
6) Being Too Stiff
Speaking of stiffness, try to relax your body language
as much as possible. Being stiff creates tension, which in turn
makes you more nervous and insecure – not exactly the right
mindset to meet women!
7) Shredding Napkins and Other “Little Habits”
If you have any small “body language habits” such as
shredding napkins at the dining table or playing with your
shirt buttons when talking to a girl, you should try to
fix it. Not only can it be weird and distracting to a woman, it
may also give the impression that you are nervous or insecure!
For more dating tips on how to act around women, sign up
for my dating newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
How To Get Girls By…Well…Connecting With Other Guys
“HoW To Get Girls By…Well…Connecting With Other Guys”
Here is something I’ve noticed over the years as
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a dating coach: Most men who are not successful in dating
often make comments such as:
“Most guys are jerks.”
“I like being alone.”
“Other guys are shallow and the women who like them are
just as shallow as them.”
“I am not very comfortable around guys. I don’t know what
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to talk about when I am around them.”
As you can see, some of these comments are on
the “belief” level…meaning chances are, they are all
results of distorted thinking that do not reflect
reality. (Who’s to say most guys are jerks or that most
women are shallow?) The rest usually have something to do
with a lack of skill such as not knowing how to make
friends or how to socialize with other men.
Unfortunately, as I always say, the real
world does not really care about what you think. You can
keep telling yourself that other guys are stupid and
full of testosterone, but if you have trouble connecting
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with your masculinity or connecting with other men,
you aren’t going to be an attractive “catch” in a woman’s
eye. Women like “man-ly” men. This doesn’t mean they are
shallow. It just means they are attracted to masculine men
the way you are attracted to feminine women.
If you are one of these guys, then I strongly
encourage you to stop repressing your masculine energy
just for the sake of gaining approval from women. Go
hang out with the boys and do what your mother would
have frowned upon. (Without breaking any laws, of
course.) Be competitive. Be boisterousness. You can
even be a bit rude as long as it is good humor. Stop
being afraid of upsetting other people and just do
what boys are supposed to do.
Otherwise, women will always see you as
“just a friend!”
For more dating tips, sign up for my
free dating newsletter at:
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Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
Biggest Misconception About Being A Challenge To Women
“Biggest Misconception About Being A Challenge To Women”
One of the questions I get from my readers all the
time is, “Marius, I love what you teach me about
acting like a challenge. I don’t call women back when they
call me and I never show any interest in the women I
like. How come they are still not chasing after me?”
The answer is actually quite simple: Because
acting like a challenge does NOT equal to acting
aloof.
If you never call women back, they are going to
stop calling eventually.
If you never flirt with women, they aren’t
going to keep on flirting with you.
It’s as simple as that.
Unlike acting aloof, acting like a challenge
requires you taking on more PROACTIVE action.
For example, When a woman flirt with you,
you shouldn’t just ignore it. You should tease her
and accuse her of hitting on you.
Or when a woman asks you for a favor, you
shouldn’t just say no because you do not want to
appear weak. You should ask for something in return
(like a kiss) or tease her a bit before you give it
to her.
Or…if you see a missed call from a woman,
you shouldn’t just ignore it. Instead, you should call
her back when she least expects it.
Get it?
The key is to have FUN with a woman instead
of just “pulling back”. Keep this in mind, and you
are going to do very well!
For more dating tips, please visit:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius PanzarellaThe Border psp
The Importance of Shifting Your Priorities In Dating and in Life
“The Importance of Shifting Your Priorities In Dating and in Life”
Awhile ago, I talked about the different stages in my
“romantic intelligence” model and how some old “players” are really
losers because they are still stuck at a stage they should have
abandoned years ago. Today I’m going to talk about how chasing
after the wrong priorities can make you retarded over time as well.
Not accepting your age and the “meanings” associated
with it will ultimately erode your confidence and drain you of
energy. It will also put you behind other men. For example, imagine
spending 4 hours at the gym a day at age 35 when other men your age
are focusing on their careers. When it comes to competing against
younger men on your physique, you are going to lose because even
if you do get a nice six-pack, you aren’t going to look as good
as a 25 year old. To make things worse, because you are spending
so much time inside the gym due to your insecurity, you aren’t
going to be as well as other guys financially because you haven’t
been focusing on your career. Either way, you’re going to get
left behind. The younger guys will still be better looking, and
when compared to men your age, you will be poorer and less well-
established.
Of course, looking too far ahead is also not a very good
thing. For example, let’s say you are 19 and you think you are
mature because all you care about is making money or getting into
business. Sure, you may be rich by the time you are 30. But
at the same time, you may regret not having a lot of fun in college.
You may even have an early mid-life crisis and end up trying to
relive your past again. I see it happen all the time.
My advice? Be aware of which life stage you are and adjust
yourself accordingly. Look towards the future without getting too
paranoid, and let your past becomes history before it drags you
down. Live a balanced life and just make the best out of every
moment.
In 20 years, you will thank me for this lesson. (If you
still remember me!)
For more dating tips, visit my newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
20 Rules To Become the Man Women Adore
“20 Rules To Become the Man Women Adore”
Here are 20 rules to follow if you want to become
the man women adore.
1) Flirt and act like a challenge
2) Live with integrity. This allows you to stand
up for yourself and NOT seek approval from people,
including women.
3) Accept the consequences of your own actions.
4) Take compliments well instead of acting all embarrassed.
5) Be a leader
6) Be in control of a date. Allow a woman to just relax
and enjoy herself
7) Do not seek a woman’s approval
8) Always do something 100 percent, no matter what it is
9) Stop thinking a woman will fill up your empty heart
10) Get used to beautiful women. Don’t let them intimidate you
11) Improve your social and wealth status. It’s not a crime to
be rich or powerful
12) Explore your creative side. Paint or start a band
13) Embrace your masculinity
14) Be competitive
15) Do not avoid confrontations. Face difficult situations
straight on
16) Have fun
17) Be a man and don’t rely on your date to make decisions
18) Live life and be adventurous
19) Try out new things and new places
20) Expect the best from other people, not just yourself
For more dating tips, sign up for my
free dating newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
A Short Guide To Raising Your Social Proof With Women
“A Short Guide To Raising Your Social Proof With Women”
Here are a few things you can to do raise your
social proof so that women respect you more, in no
particular order:
1) Learn to play the guitar. It always impresses women.
2) Make money. Sounds shallow? Yes. But it helps.
3) Have lots of friends. If you are unpopular, think about why.
4) Get a motorcycle. I know guys who get girls by fixing
their bikes on the sidewalk every weekend.
5) Be a leader. Women love powerful men.
6) Travel. Be adventurous and have tons of cool stories
to tell.
7) Get a nice haircut.
8) Dress well.
9) Get an advanced degree. Women respect intelligent men.
10) Play in a band. It does not matter if you suck. Most
people will think you are cool anyway.
11) Be seen with women. Bring your cousins if you have to.
12) Be in the top 20% no matter what you do. Use this
as a golden rule to life.
13) Be picky about your food.
14) Give back to the community.
15) Have strong goals and be ambitious.
16) Have nice accessroies and gadgets…like a nice watch
or belt.
17) Wear nice shoes.
18) Learn magic or other “cool” skills you can show off.
19) Act in plays or be a performer in general.
20) Know your wine.
For more dating tips, please visit:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
Where Is This Relationship Going?
“Where Is This Relationship Going?”
In my opinion, one of the stupidist questions
a man (or woman) can ask at the beginning of a relationship
is “Where is this relationship going?”
9 out of 10 times, it will take things to a
REALLY bad direction.
Why? Because it puts unnecessary pressure on the
person you are asking. You are basically forcing
the people to say “yes” to a relationship and regretting
it later. (Remember: Nobody likes to be forced. Even if
they like you, their attraction will drop if they feel like
they have been forced to do something.)
Or even worse, if the person is assertive, they
will probably say something like, “I am not ready yet.
Let’s just be friends for now.”
As I always say, if two people are attracted to
each other and they are compatible without much character
flaws, chances are they are going to end up in a relationship
provided there aren’t too many negative forces in play.
Asking or trying to push for a relationship won’t
help. Instead, it will make you desperate.
Here’s the bottom line: If a relationship is going to
happen, it will happen naturally. If it won’t happen, then
no matter how many times you ask or how much you push,
it just ain’t going to happen!
The ONLY time you should use this question is if you
have been “dating” for months but it feels like the person
you are with is just playing you and you do not wish to waste
any more time. In that case, you should not be afraid to
pop the question, and you should be ready to cut all ties
and move on if you do not like the answer.
The same thing also applies to existing relationships.
If you feel things are doing down the hill with your
relationships, don’t ask “So where is this relationship going?”
unless you are ready to break up. Instead, take action to
fix the issues. If the chemistry is dying, then bring back
the spark using what you have learned from my “Smart
Relationships Course
“. If you feel like your partner is taking
you for granted, then pull back so you are more of a challenge.
If you feel like you are having communication problems,
then work on that WITHOUT asking where the relationship is
going.
The only time you should pop the “Where is this
relationship going” question is when things are so bad that
you want to save it one LAST time before you are out the
door!
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