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“What Marius Panzarella Thinks Of Game Playing”
A question that I am often asked is,
“Marius, what do you think of game playing? Do
you think it is good or bad?”
Here is what I think:
I think that a lot of what some people
consider “game playing” such as flirting,
teasing, and acting like a challenge are
absolutely necessary in order to spark
attraction or to maintain a relationship. As
I always say, the couple that plays is the
couple that stays. However, at the same time,
I am against playing mind games that are
meant to manipulate or control a person.
So what is the difference between
sparking attraction and playing manipulative
mind games?
Let me show you giving you a couple
of examples.
Here is what I think:
1) It is okay to act a bit mysterious at
the beginning when you first meet a woman,
but it is not okay to act evasive or put
on a charade for an extended period
of time.
2) It is okay to tell a few cool stories
or dress up in nice clothes to raise
your social proof, but it is not okay
to lie about your job or your family
background.
3) It is okay to pull back and use the
silent treatment to “freak out” a
misbehaving girlfriend, but it is not
okay to stop a woman from seeing her
friends as a way of controlling her.
4) It is okay to use the hot/cold
technique from my “Smart Relationships
Course” to bring back the chemistry
in a dying relationship, but it is
not okay to use it to manipulate
a woman until she becomes your slave.
5) It is okay to use my “compliment-
command” technique to break down a bitch
shield, but it is not okay to use flatter
to control an insecure woman’s heart.
Here’s a golden rule:
Dating techniques are not manipulative
in nature, but if you constantly find
yourself various techniques to manipulate
a person, then you should re-evaluative
your goals and possibly the relationship
itself. Here’s a hint: if you constantly have
to use manipulative to be with a person,
perhaps you shouldn’t be together in the
first place!
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
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“How To Flirt With Women”
I am often asked, “Marius, how exactly do I flirt
with women?”
Here is a list of flirting techniques that you
can use to flirt with women, as well as a link to an ebook
gift on flirting that you can download and read.
The ebook gift is at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com/flirt.pdf
And here are the flirting techniques:
————————————————–
Flirting Technique: Eye-Contact
Most of flirting is done with your eyes. Keep good
eye-contact on a woman when you talk to her. Just keep
your eyes focused on her bit “too long.”
Flirting Technique: Say “Hello” With Energy
When you approach a woman, say “Hello” in a flirty way.
It will make her think you e sexier than the average
geek who walks up to her and gives her a shy “Hi”.
Flirting Technique: Shake Her Hand A Bit Too Long
When you shake her hand, let your hand stay on hers
for a bit too long and then brush against her hand as
you pull back. Do this while smiling and looking into
her eyes sincerely. You don want to come off as a
pervert.
Flirting Technique: Repeat The Woman Name
As you talk to her, repeat her name as much as you can.
Say her name slow, softly and sensually each time you
say it.
Example: “Hello, De-bbie, I am very glad you came
here…”
Flirting Technique: Stir Your Drink
Stir your drink with a rhythm as you talk to her.
The effect can be “hypnotizing” under the right
atmosphere.
Flirting Technique: Lower Your Volume
Lower and lower your volume so she has to lean towards
you to listen.
Flirting Technique: Whisper
When she gets close enough, whisper to her. This works
well in a bar, when the music is so loud you have to
talk in each other ears.
Flirting Technique: Be Playful
Ask yourself the following questions:
1) How much fun can I have tonight?
2) What sorts of interesting things can I
find out about this girl?
Flirting Technique: Use Nicknames
When you get closer to a woman, make up a cute nickname
for her.
Flirting Technique: Touch Her Back
If she starts touching you, then touch her on the
shoulder or arm when you laugh. Increase the frequency of
touching as the night goes on.
Flirting Technique: Leave Her Wanting More
Do what strippers do the guys. Get a girl all hot and
then leave her wanting more!
Flirting Technique: Laugh At Her Jokes
Laugh at her jokes whenever she makes one. Touch her on
the arm lightly when you laugh if she already touching you.
Flirting Technique: Listen To Her Stories
Pay attention to what she says. Be focused on her, not
on the hot waitress.
Flirting Technique: Drop A Compliment
Drop her a compliment every once in awhile. Not too often
though!
Flirting Technique: Tease Her
Incorporate teasing into your flirting. Tease her till
she’s wet!
Flirting Technique: Get More Personal
Ask her more and more personal questions as the evening
progresses. Things about her childhood, etc!
—————————————————
For more tips on flirting, sign up for my
dating newsletter at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
Posted by Marius Panzarella on May 26, 2008 · 2 Comments
“What If There Is Not Much Attraction At The Beginning”
Once in awhile, I get a question along
the lines of, “Marius. I started seeing this girl
a couple of weeks ago. She’s wonderful, but
somehow I don’t really feel excited when I
see her anymore. Should I stay with her
to see if my feelings increase, or should I
just break up.”
Here is what I always answer, “If you
have to ask this questions, then chances are,
you already want to break up with her but
would just like my confirmation.”
It’s true. A person who is crazily
in love will not ask a third party if he or she
should break up. And if you are not crazily
in love at the beginning of a relationship,
that should be a major red flag because
attraction tends to DROP over time. So if you
aren’t even that crazy about a woman in the
first month, I can promise you that you won’t
be any more crazy about her a year from now.
Now. What if you’re on the “receiving
end” of this low attraction problem? What if
your new girlfriend or boyfriend is quickly
losing interests?
In that case, you should try to bring
back the passion by flirting, teasing, and
acting like a challenge. And if that doesn’t
work, then try pulling back to see if he or
she cares. If it works, good. If it doesn’t,
then you should really try to move on!
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
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“20 Dating Lessons Marius Panzarella Has Learned Over The Years”
Here are 20 lessons I’ve learned over the years
as a dating coach.
1) Attraction is illogical, but being able to explain
it logically can really help your game.
2) Attitude, not technique, is what’s the most
important. With the right attitude, techniques
will come naturally. Unfortunately, this is
something most guys don’t get.
3) Stay away from people with bad character. They
will drain all your energy.
4) Appearance is often reality, not matter what
they taught you in school.
5) After the age of 28, you can’t really blame
your parents for your life anymore. Of course, this
rule is violated all the time.
6) Some people are beyond help. Leave them be
and help other people instead.
7) Not everyone will like you. It’s true in both
dating (women or men) and in business (customers.)
8) Pick up artists who are only interested in
sleeping around will die lonely.
9) Bad experiences can fuel you or depress you.
Take a pick.
10) A person’s choice of friends reveal a lot
about the person.
11) Don’t worry about what other people think.
Nobody cares. They are all too busy worrying about
themselves – just as you are.
12) Trust the “red signals”. Your mind is warning
you.
13) People relate to stories and metaphors. This
applies to both teaching and talking to women.
14) Most long distance relationships fail. It’s
sad, but true.
15) Words don’t matter and they can change. Look
at actions instead.
16) Simple works best.
17) Build up your social life and your social proof,
and women (or men) will come.
18) It’s not who you are inside, but what you
do, that matters.
19) Most people can never change. Keep that in mind
next time you want to convert a loser into a
boyfriend or girlfriend.
20) Uncertainty is scary, but it boosts attraction.
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
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“Once You Have a Date, Hang Up!”
Here is an important rule to remember
when calling a woman for a date: One you have
the date, hang up!
In business, good salespeople know
that once they have made a sale, they should
stop talking. If they keep on talking after
a sale has been made, they may end up undoing
the sale by talking too much.
Dating is no different. If you stop
the conversation right after you have set up
a date, then the woman will probably continue
to think about you. She may even fantasize
about the upcoming date a little bit. On the
other hand, if you keep on talking, then the
only way the energy level of the conversation
can go is down – and that is BAD for you.
By the way, the same rule also applies
to getting phone numbers from women. Once
you have her number, get out of there!
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius PanzarellaFive Across the Eyes dvdrip
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“Why It Is Silly To Worry About What People Think”
Today’s tip will be very short…
Over my past eight years as a dating coach,
one thing I’ve noticed is that people are often
scared of what people may think of them when they
try to make a move on a woman.
Here are a few examples:
1) “They will laugh at me if she rejects me.”
2) “They are going to cockblock me.”
3) “Her friends hate me.”
4) “My friends will think I am not being myself
if I change.”
The list goes on and on!
Here is what I think:
RELAX!
Nobody is thinking about you. They are
too busy thinking about themselves – just like you!
Don’t believe me? When was the last time
you REALLY cared when one of your friends approached
a woman and get rejected? Did your respect for the
person go down at all?
Just remind yourself of this next time
you find yourself hesitating about approaching
a woman because there are some other people around:
Life is too short to worry about what
other people think. Just go do your best
and worry about YOURSELF!!
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
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“8 Tips On How To Deal With Rejection and Failure”
When you first go out to practice the dating
techniques I’ve taught you, you’re bound to
hear a few “no’s” from the women you meet. (Actually,
this is an ongoing process. You will never have a
100% success rate.) So here are a couple of ways
to make the rejections easier to take and more
valuable to you.
1) Disassociate yourself.
Look at the rejection as an event, not as a rejection
of your inner core. Think in “third-person” as if
you’re watching a movie.
2) Think about “why”.
Think about why the woman rejected you. Think back
on your actions. Were you being too pushy? Did
you not build up enough chemistry before you asked
for a date? Try to locate any potential blindspots.
3) Learn from it.
Learn from your mistakes and try to improve each time.
If you improve just a tiny bit each time, you’ll
improve a lot in the long run!
4) Try In A New Environment
If you few like a certain environment may be holding
your back, try the following: Take your practices
to a new environment and see if you get different
results.
For example, if the nightclub setting does like
work for you, try taking a few dance classes, and
so on.
5) Hang Out With A More Successful Person
How do you get smarter? By hanging out with
smarter people! They’ll be able to point out
your mistakes when you make them.
One of the best ways to get really good at something
is to get active feedback from someone who is
already good at it. It’s like playing sports.
If you constantly play against opponents that are
stronger than you, you will learn faster than if
you constantly play against opponents who are
not as good as you.
6) Make New Connections In Your Mind
Take the time to organize your new thoughts and
ideas. Make connections between different topics
and ideas that weren’t there before. You don’t
really get something until you can see all the
connections! Ask yourself questions such as,
“How does flirting fit into building attraction?”
7) Take a Break If Necessary
If you feel like you are hitting the same
wall over and over, then take a small break so
you have time to recharge. The more you push
when you’re already frustrated, the more
resistance you will build. Sometimes when you
take a small break and then come back, you will
find the obstacles will have disappeared on
its own.
8) Take the Time to Learn’
It is hard to bounce back from failure
if you don’t even have a direction. That is
why it is very important to pick up the knowledge
you need to be successful. Instead of learning
everything through your own mistakes, try to
learn everything through other people’s mistakes.
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
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Marius Panzarella
“How To Use The Two-Stage Approach To Approach Women”
Last time we talked about the benefits of
going out and just hanging out with your friends.
Today I’m going to show you how you can incorporate
the two-stage approach into going out and just
having fun.
1) Let’s say you’re out with your buddies.
When you see some girls nearby, be a bit louder
than usual. Just raise the energy and make a
bit of noise. Then look around and “catch”
the girls looking over you see what’s going on.
2) Make contact with one of them and smile.
3) Now just wait, preferably until the
girl is alone. (Doesn’t have to be.) Go over
to her and say, “Excuse me. I just want to
tell you that you look fantastic in that dress.
That’s it.” Then smile and go back to whatever
you were doing before with your friends.
4) From then on, make eye contact and smile
once in awhile. If she seems receptive, then
make your real approach and go chat her up.
Now go out and have some fun with this
flirting routine!
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
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“Go Out To Have Fun, Not To Pick Up Chicks”
Here is an important rule to remember when
you go out to pick up woman:
Go out not because you want to get girls,
but because you want to have fun with your buddies.
I’ll give you an example:
2 guys go to the beach. The first guy is
there to pick up chicks. He gawks at the girls
and approaches everyone. The second guy is there
with his buddies and they are just there to have
a great time. A few girls walk by as they are playing
volleyball and he makes a casual comment about a
hat one of the girls is wearing. He invites her
to serve for his team for good luck. A few minutes
later they start talking naturally.
Which guy will look cool, and which
guy will look like a complete tool?
Here’s what it all boils down to:
If you look like you’re there to have fun with
your friends, you will look less desperate and
your approaches will look more natural and
spontaneous. On top of that, you will also have
more social proof because chances are, the girls
will have seen you having fun with your buddies.
And when you look like you’re having a great time,
then it will be natural for other people to want
to join in the fun and become part of it
as well.
So what are you waiting for? Go hang
out with your friends!
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
.!.
“How To Have Complete Control Over A Woman”
One dating question that I get on a regular
basis is, “Marius, how can I have complete control
over my girlfriend? How can I make sure that she will
always do everything I ask and never betray me?”
Here’s what I always write back:
“Instead of worrying about how you can
control your girlfriend, maybe you should think
about how you can fix your insecurities instead.”
It’s true. Feeling the need to always exert
full control and dominance on a woman is a sign
of insecurity. A confident man does not wake up
in the middle of the night worrying about his
girlfriend “betraying” him. A confident man does
not need to control who a woman sees, what she
wears, or what she does. He will merely know what
his boundaries are. If he feels like his boundaries
are being violated or that he is not being
respected, he will give a warning. Then if it
happens again, he will just leave.
With that said, here are a few tips
for you if you feel like things have gone out of
control in your relationship.
1) Learn to walk: Know that the greatest power
you have in a relationship is the ability
to walk away. You survived before you met your
girlfriend. You can survive again without her.
If your girlfriend has bad character, then
just walk instead of trying to change her.
2) Look at yourself: Really think if you
are being unreasonable or insecure. For example,
not too long ago a reader asked me how he can
make his wife wear loose pants instead of
jeans. First he used religion as an excuse
and claimed that Western clothing was against
his religion. (Funny thing is he could wear
them while his wife couldn’t) But of course,
it turned out he was just insecure that other
men would find his wife attractive if he had
let her walk outside in a pair or jeans. My
comment to him? “This isn’t the 12th century
anymore. The more you force your wife to do what
she doesn’t want to do, the more she will resent
you and want to run away.”
If you think you have jealousy
or insecurity problems, then please seek
professional help!
3) Know that you can’t change a person’s
character: If a woman likes to lie or sleep
around, no matter how hard you try to stop
her, she’s probably going to do it again.
4) Pick your battles wisely: You can’t
expect to win every argument or scenario.
Learn to be compromise and flexible. And
if your girlfriend never gives in on
anything, then that’s a sign of bad
character and you should consider point
1 and point 3. (Leave her and find
yourself a better woman!)
5) Improve your dating skills: If you have
good dating and relationship skills, then
you will have the confidence and knowledge
to deal with whatever problem that comes up
in your relationship. So download my
“Smart Dating Course” and my “Smart
Relationships Course
“!
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
Thanks,
Marius Panzarella
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“Just How Comfortable Are You Physically Around Women?”
Here’s a short quiz taken from the Smart Dating Course (http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com/ebook.html ):
1) Can you look into a woman’s eyes with desire
without getting nervous and looking away in shame?
2) Can you make out with a woman without
tensing up?
3) Can you walk around naked in front of a woman
without feeling any embarrassment?
4) Can you admit to a woman that you are “shallow”
and love women who are hot and beautiful?
Why are these questions important? Because they show
you just how comfortable you are with women physically,
and if you have answered “no” to any of these questions,
then you have a lot to work on.
Remember: If you want to be good with women, then
you must first become comfortable with the idea with being
with a woman!
If you aren’t comfortable with having physical
contact with women, then it will be extra tough for you
to use body contact to flirt with women. You may also
“tense up” when a woman makes a move on you, which will
in turn create some awkward energy and make the woman feel
uncomfortable around you as well. Lastly, guys who are
good with women are naturally comfortable with them, so
by tensing up around the girl, it will show her that you
are NOT the alpha male she is looking for.
If you aren’t comfortable around women, then
here are two exercises for you to try:
1) Be more physical with women from now on. It
doesn’t mean you have to hit on them or touch them
sexually. Just have more “casual”, friendly contacts
with them. Be playful and get them into play wrestling
matches with you. Be a bit childish and poke them or
pinch them lightly. Touch their elbows or knees when
you talk. Cover their eyes from behind and get them to
guess who you are.
2) Try to convey sexual communication through
your eyes and body language instead of through words.
Instead of asking for a kiss, stare down at her lips
and then look into her eyes again. Instead of telling
her she’s hot, let her catch you checking her out. Work
on expressing yourself through your body language
instead of through your words.
In time, you will feel more comfortable
physically when you’re around women!
For more dating tips, sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
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“How To Be More Playful With Women – Some Practical Tips”
If there is one thing that most guys need to do
to have more success in dating, it’s to be more playful.
More often than not, guys who are not good with women
are guys who are “too serious” when they’re around women.
If you’re playful, women will think you’re cool;
if you’re too serious, women are going to think you are a
“tool.”
It doesn’t matter if it’s part of your
personality to be “serious.” There are times and
situations in life when you have to be very serious, and
there are also times and situations when you have to be
very playful.
I’ll give you an example. If you were working
as an air traffic controller, I would tell you to be
very serious with your job and be very cautious at
work.
But let’s say you’re just out on a first
date with a woman after work. Then I would tell you
to let go and be very playful with her!
Here’s the bottom line:
If you’re too serious with flirting, then
you’re not flirting at all. Even if you follow every
step I’ve told you to do and say every line I’ve taught
you to say, you’re not actually flirting. To become a
Smart Flirter, you must let go of your worries and
become more playful!
If you’re one of those guys who have trouble
being playful around women, then today I am going show
you a few ways to become more playful:
1) Poke her.
2) Tackle her.
3) Lift her up.
4) Challenge her to arm wrestling.
5) Play thumb war with her.
6) Give her a piggy back ride…and run as fast as you
can.
7) Throw something tiny at her. Then look away and whistle
as she looks at you.
8) Steal something from her and make her wrestle you to
get it back.
9) Twirl her around.
10) Pinch her nose and shake it like she’s a plush toy.
Use these sample techniques as a blueprint
for coming up with your own techniques. Remember that
the key is to be playful and focus on having fun instead
of “getting results!”
For a free guide on how to flirt with women,
download my report at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com/flirt.pdf
You should also sign up for my dating
newsletter for men at:
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com
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